Stupid Pill

About a year an a half ago I found myself in a stressful situation.  I spent most of my day driving around in a truck with an awful seat.  The lumbar support had broken the first week of the job and I knew that asking for something like that to be fixed by the company mechanics would have caused me great ridicule.  I imagine pulling up next to a bay with three or four guys dropping the transmission out of a ten

ton dump truck and saying,  "uh guys if you get time can you fix the lumbar support in my seat... my back is starting to hurt."
So I just used whatever I could find for back support.  My favorite object that seemed to work the best was a cd case that I would shove into the void.  It was hard but it kept me from slumping too much. Regardless, backaches were part of my life.

The job became really stressful when we fell behind schedule.  I was the one who had to play catch up.  If I didn't, the job would simply not get done.  I found myself cursing a lot.  Most of the swearing was directed at bad drivers and my "supervisor".  I would be so on edge just trying to keep from getting hit by a manned or womanned vehicle.  It took me a year and a half to figure out the time and places to go and not to go.  For instance:
a) Stay off the main highways on Fridays and 3 to 4 P.M.
b) Avoid all schools around 2:30 P.M. to 3:30 P.M.
c) keep conversations short and stick to business
d) after 3 in the morning, yield at every light regardless of color and look both ways

Maybe it's just me and my personality but I find that the minute I figure something out, I'm ready to be done with it.  Example:  I've been a musician since I was very young and before I ever learned to play the guitar I would fantasize about playing music.  Once I finally learned to play I realized that all the songs I loved were very boring to play and once I learned them I lost interest in them.  My job I guess had become the same way.

All of this boils down to me becoming depressed and stressed out.  I had to get some sort of help.  Don't you wish you could just be honest and tell your doctor.   "Okay I hate my job but I have to do it because I don't know what else I'm going to do.  Can you just give me something legal that I can take to make me forget about it when I get home?"

So, my doctor gives me Zoloft.  Suddenly everything is slightly brighter.  I hear the birds chirping again...  There's actually a breeze blowing...  Oooh...   is that a caterpillar I see crossing the road?  Wow, what a journey that little fella has!

Every conversation is:  "Hello!  Good how are you?  Can't complain."   "Wouldn't do you any good if you did!"  "Ha ha ha!"   I'm thinking I'm on an episode of the Truman Show and then suddenly:
"WATCH OUT YOU STUPID ...!"   "PUT THE PHONE DOWN AND DRIVE YOU IDIOT!!"

(few seconds of huffing and puffing)

Here I am thinking these pills were supposed to keep me from getting upset.  I carefully and nervously pull back onto the road..... and mutter to myself,  "You can't fix stupid with a pill."