My Two Cents On Time Travel

You’ve seen movies about time travel and if you’re like me you’ve done your research and have a good idea of how close (or how very far) we are from achieving it.  Let’s assume for the moment that it is possible and we are capable of it.  What then?  Will we tamper with the past to change the future?  What events will we change and how will they affect other moments in our history?  I’ve thought about it from time to time (no pun intended) and I came up with my own theory.  And here it is..

I believe that if time travel were possible and you could travel back in time, you would not be able to affect anything at all.  I believe that if you were to go into the past, you would not even be seen by anyone there.  If you were to stand in front of an approaching person, they would simply pass through you.  The reason being:  you do not yet exist.  Even though you are there in your own body, you will be housed in a body which was not from that time.  Therefore, in the eyes of those in the past, you are not there.  Even though you are visiting another time and seeing it with your own eyes, you are seeing something that has happened already and cannot be changed.  Although it would be an interesting experience, you could only be a spectator, not a participant.

I believe the same holds true for the future.  It would probably be the same.  You would be a ghost because likewise you would not be from that time.  In fact, you will have been long dead. 

I believe there is little or no difference between the past present and future.  Even the future has already happened.  Humor me for a moment.

Imagine you could throw a rock into outer space.   It would travel on and on forever until it finally hit something.  Let’s assume that the very moment you threw the rock, there is no way to retrieve it.  (Duh) Consider it an irreversible decision.  In a way, the rock had already landed at its destination because it is GOING to happen and it CANNOT be stopped.  The minute you threw it… the action was complete even though it hadn’t quite played out yet. 

 

The same holds true for the signals that we (humans) have been broadcasting into outer space over the past 100 years with hopes of reaching some intelligent life-form.  Is there any way possible we can go back and catch those waves?  We cannot.  It is irreversible.  Therefore, whatever those waves run into whether a star, black hole or an alien radio receiver, the action is done.  Perhaps we’ve already been visited by others who are able to travel through time.  If that were the case, the moment the signal was sent, it is possible that we could have been visited the next day or within the same hour.  That is, if they could travel back in time.  However, if I’m correct, we would never know it because they would not have been from this time and therefore would not exist!   Unless I’m wrong, then maybe that explains all the UFO sightings we’ve been seeing for quite some time now.

What it all boils down to is the irreversible decision.  Once it is made there is no going back!  Does it really matter whether it will take a hundred years or a billion years to play out?  What’s done is done.  Maybe, in the eyes of time, there is no past present or future, only decisions and outcomes.  Those decisions that have not yet been made… will eventually be made, will they not?  Once those decisions are made they will play out eventually.  In a way everything has already been done.  There is no way to UNDO an irreversible decision.  They WILL be made and regardless of the amount of time that passes, the outcome will come to pass.  There is no way to change what we will do in the future.   Even if we change our minds and make a different decision… even then, it will still be that final decision we were destined to make.  Regardless, we still have to make those irreversible decisions.  They MUST be thought out and put into motion.  I could be right and I could be wrong…. Nevertheless, that’s my two cents on time travel. 

Inspired by:   Into the Universe with Stephen Hawkins Season I Episode 2 “Time Travel”  via Netflix

My First Catfish Festival

I remember the first time I'd ever heard of a Catfish Festival.  I don't recall the year exactly but I do remember that Wayne's World was popular at the movies.  I only remember that because Bohemian Rhapsody was on the radio as I headed south on New Hwy 61.   My destination:  Belzoni Mississippi.  (Pronounced Bell-zone-uh just the opposite of bologna... well..at least around here it is).  I was around 15 or 16 and I'd just gotten my driver's license.  I should never have received my driver's license at that time due to the fact that I wasn't a very good driver,  but that is another post for another time.  I was all ready to go but there was a problem with the car.  It had been leaking water and anti-freeze and the radiator was completely empty.  Within an hour or so I had located and replaced the bad heater-core tube, taken a shower, dressed and was well on my way to the Catfish Festival in Belzoni (wherever the hell that was).  I am quite amazed at just how much a young man can accomplish just to sneak away for girls and/or booze! 

On a similar morning my best friend Caleb and I were heading home from God knows where when we heard a loud POP from the undercarriage of his pickup.  We pulled over and I saw oil pouring onto the road from the bottom of the back axle (aka differential).  I reached my hand underneath and felt hot oil pouring out.  Trying to locate the source of the leak I cut my finger wide open on the sharp edge of the gash protruding from the casing.  The gears inside the axle evidently gave way, snapped in pieces and sent a shard of metal straight through the steel wall.  We were devastated!  How were we going to go out and party that night?!  Nevertheless, by the time night fell we had located a new rear axle (differential) at a salvage yard, propped the truck up on cinder-blocks and wot-not and were out on the town!  Of course then we called it riding the strip.  Who or what could have stopped us?  OK enough reminiscing.

 I had never even been to Belzoni so I was relying on a map my friend Caleb had drawn out for me.   He and his girlfriend were already there and partying without me.  All I knew of this "Catfish Festival" was that there was supposed to be live bands, food, girls and beer!  So, here I was driving and driving and driving.  I 'd looked at the map several times.  How far is this place?  Is anybody even going to BE there?  It's out in the middle of nowhere!  Nearly 45 minutes passed and I was begininng to think I was either lost or victim of a cruel joke by my dear friends.  I could see it already... they're doubled over laughing at me and saying "Ha ha!  we told him it was a catfish festival and he bit into it!"  But suddenly to my relief I saw humanity again.   At the intersection of Hwy 49 and Hwy 12 traffic was getting pretty thick.  In fact, you couldn't park near the actual festival unless you got there around 10:00 A.M.  Man that place was happening!  Who would have thought?  It was warm and sunny out, there were live bands, crawfish, catfish, beer, girls and corndogs!  I was a teenager who had just earned (or was reluctantly handed) a driver's license and drove myself to my first festival!  What a day! 

Now, I'm going to be on the stage this Saturday as a performing artist.  Although I've played many venues and festivals I can't help but get excited.  Although I know the crowd may not be what it used to be, the spirit of the Catfish Festival is still there and still strong.  I hope to see you there and for many years to come!

How to Catch a Monkey

 My dad unwittingly taught me, at a very young age, how to catch a monkey. Although I never thought I would need to catch one, useless information is information.  If I recall correctly, he and his buddies who were serving with him in Viet  Nam did this once or twice.  Either that or he’d seen a few Vietnamese perform the act.  Anyway here’s how you do it:  1) Take a coconut and cut a hole just big enough for an orange to fit in.  2) Secure the coconut to the ground with a chain or rope attached to a spike 3) place an orange into the hole.  4) There is no four.  You’re done.

The orange should barely fit through the hole but too large for a monkey’s hand and the bait to exit.  The monkey reaches in, grabs the fruit, and you got him!  That’s it.  It won’t let go of the fruit.  It just ain’t gonna happen!  You just walk up and get your monkey.  Isn’t that frickin’ hilarious!?  I’ve always thought that was soooo funny!   Stupid monkeys!  Ha ha!

Well, a few days ago I was over at a friend’s house washing my hands when suddenly the water wasn’t draining fast enough or at least not to my own pitiful standards.  I’ve done this so many times that I don’t even use a plunger anymore, I have a technique that I use by forming both my hands into a sort of suction cup and voila’!  On my third attempt I just about had it draining full speed when I remembered the story of the monkey trap.  I looked up into the mirror and I didn’t see me.  I saw a helpless little monkey with his hand stuck inside a coconut, refusing to let it go.   It’s not just slow sinks.  It’s toilets too!  Yeah.  I once swiftly repaired a toilet in a restaurant bathroom, washed my hands thoroughly (twice), then returned to eat my dinner!  I USED A PLUNGER BY THE WAY!!  I'm obsessed, not gross!  I just like for things to work so to speak.  Don’t judge me, I may fix your toilet one day or unclog your sink.  I’ll admit I’m a little obsessive but it's not something I can’t cope with.  It's not something I even enjoy.  It's just something I gotta do!  I just tend to get hung up in certain situations or get stuck in a loop so to speak.  We all have little obsessions don’t we all?  Sinks and toilets anybody?  Anybody?  Maybe that’s just me.  I feel sorry for those who are REALLY diagnosed with OCD though.  Some people have it really bad.  Counting stair steps or squares in the concrete, washing their hands every ten minutes etc.  Thankfully I’m not one of those…. yet…  I do have my own little monkey traps.  I just though I would share one of mine with you.  We all have them.  What's yours?

Growin a Beard

Okay, now today is Tuesday October 15, 2013.   I'm still alive but somewhat behind schedule on the actual living side of things.  It is about 10:40 A.M. and I have an issue about whether I should shave or not.  Ladies, it's a known fact that a man naturally thinks his beard looks great on him.  He's looking in the mirror thinking, "Yeah, yeah... I'm liking it."  It's just a few days old so it's juuust pass that 60 grit sandpaper stage?  Fellas, you know that point where your wife likes the look of your 9 o'clock shadown but not the feel?  You know.... you try to give her a kiss on the cheek and five minutes later she's hunkered down on the couch she has a cotton ball with Neosporin on what could possibly be a permanent scar if not treated properly?   If you don't then you were probably blessed with a nice soft beard.  When I say blessed I mean you are one of the lucky ones who didn't look like a tenth grader in the eight grade.  Even if you didn't you had one of us as a friend and you know that it’s that brief period in the early stages of beard harvesting when a man can take the enamel off of a 57 Chevy with his chin.  It falls between the day you decide, "I'm gerrrr....owin' a beard!" and can last anywhere from two to three days or longer.  (I don't know why I feel the need to express myself in the voice of Jackie Gleason

but that's what I was going for there).  Anyway... I'm Looking in the mirror thinking, "Yeah this is looking cool.." and I'm thinking that I'm starting to that tough guy look like Jason Stathom. But, In actuality I'm starting to look more like this guy:

And.. so, once again, I'll probably wuss out and shave it off today so I won't be eyeballed suspiciously when I go to Wal-Mart. 

Stupid Pill

About a year an a half ago I found myself in a stressful situation.  I spent most of my day driving around in a truck with an awful seat.  The lumbar support had broken the first week of the job and I knew that asking for something like that to be fixed by the company mechanics would have caused me great ridicule.  I imagine pulling up next to a bay with three or four guys dropping the transmission out of a ten

ton dump truck and saying,  "uh guys if you get time can you fix the lumbar support in my seat... my back is starting to hurt."
So I just used whatever I could find for back support.  My favorite object that seemed to work the best was a cd case that I would shove into the void.  It was hard but it kept me from slumping too much. Regardless, backaches were part of my life.

The job became really stressful when we fell behind schedule.  I was the one who had to play catch up.  If I didn't, the job would simply not get done.  I found myself cursing a lot.  Most of the swearing was directed at bad drivers and my "supervisor".  I would be so on edge just trying to keep from getting hit by a manned or womanned vehicle.  It took me a year and a half to figure out the time and places to go and not to go.  For instance:
a) Stay off the main highways on Fridays and 3 to 4 P.M.
b) Avoid all schools around 2:30 P.M. to 3:30 P.M.
c) keep conversations short and stick to business
d) after 3 in the morning, yield at every light regardless of color and look both ways

Maybe it's just me and my personality but I find that the minute I figure something out, I'm ready to be done with it.  Example:  I've been a musician since I was very young and before I ever learned to play the guitar I would fantasize about playing music.  Once I finally learned to play I realized that all the songs I loved were very boring to play and once I learned them I lost interest in them.  My job I guess had become the same way.

All of this boils down to me becoming depressed and stressed out.  I had to get some sort of help.  Don't you wish you could just be honest and tell your doctor.   "Okay I hate my job but I have to do it because I don't know what else I'm going to do.  Can you just give me something legal that I can take to make me forget about it when I get home?"

So, my doctor gives me Zoloft.  Suddenly everything is slightly brighter.  I hear the birds chirping again...  There's actually a breeze blowing...  Oooh...   is that a caterpillar I see crossing the road?  Wow, what a journey that little fella has!

Every conversation is:  "Hello!  Good how are you?  Can't complain."   "Wouldn't do you any good if you did!"  "Ha ha ha!"   I'm thinking I'm on an episode of the Truman Show and then suddenly:
"WATCH OUT YOU STUPID ...!"   "PUT THE PHONE DOWN AND DRIVE YOU IDIOT!!"

(few seconds of huffing and puffing)

Here I am thinking these pills were supposed to keep me from getting upset.  I carefully and nervously pull back onto the road..... and mutter to myself,  "You can't fix stupid with a pill."

Daily Workup: Introduction

My wife and I have noticed that,  over the course of our 13 years of marriage, we have these certain moments in time where we really connect.  These little moments in time, of course, tend to come at strange hours such as three o' clock in the morning when we finally give up on tryingon for at least two hours until the first one yawns then it's another hour of "okay let's go to sleep now",  followed by several instances of "OK, one last thing and I'll be quiet."
to go back to sleep.  At three A. M. the lights come on followed by a brief staring contest and eventually one of us musters enough strength to say what is on his or her mind.  After that it's

My least favorite connection that we make is the early morning getting ready for work connection.  It seems like the more behind schedule we are, the more we have to talk about.  We just have to tell each other about our dreams, what we think the dreams mean and how we think we're both a little bit psychic.   My most recurrent morning topic of lately has been "Any and Everything That Pisses Me Off!".  I think it stems from hating my (previous) job.  Nevertheless all of the irritating things that everyday people do or have ever done in the past seem to come flooding back into my memory which in turn raises my blood-pressure and heart rate so much that my wife compares it to a morning exercise routine she simply dubbed my "Daily Workup".

Unfortunately, I lost my job that I hated so much and now I am enjoying life right now.  My angry morning  routine has come to a halt.  However, I think I have a good arsenal of work-ups stored in my memory bank so I will try to recall them.  It's funny looking back at yourself in the past during times of great stress and realizing just how hilarious the whole thing is. When I look back at my most stressful times I imagine them in fast motion and like a Charlie Chaplin film and some of them are quite funny.  I hope you agree!  Nevertheless, I have no idea where this blog is going so just hang on and let's take a ride!

When to Call Yourself a Grownup

I've always said that no matter how old I'm getting, I still feel like a child.  I don't have to wonder any more whether my parents felt the same way at my age.  I don't even have to ask them.  We all do.  Except, maybe, that select few who have never had a monster under their bed or in their closet.  We all know an exception or two.  The rest of us may ponder the question: "when exactly are we to call ourselves grown ups?"  I don't think there is any simple answer.  However, this morning I had an experience that lead me to believe I may actually be a grown up and I'm hoping it will help you realize the same.  


Did you ever have to stay at home alone when you were younger?  Nowadays I'm sure that's unheard of but those of you who have experienced the fear of being home alone can surely relate to what I'm talking about.  You'll probably remember a certain time when you were there in that big old house by yourself in broad daylight with no dark corners for monsters or demons to hide in.   Nevertheless you hear a strange noise and you immediately imagine the worst!  That THING inside the walls that you're certain has been after you since you were eight years old finally comes out to get you!  Maybe that disturbingly gigantic, freakish one-eyed cat down the street made its way into your house looking for food but decides a eight year old boy will suffice.  You get the point.

Well today I was home alone and had two different Pandora Radio stations going in each room to keep me motivated.  I have 80's hairband rock going in the living room and my studio has  a much more laid back blues station going.  Neither are very loud.  Just enough to offer a change of scene.  I imagine it as if I'm walking down Bourbon Street from venue to venue.  Anyhow, I thought I would sit in the Blues Room and sip on my coffee when I heard a sound as if someone climbed through a window and knocked over a plant and then quickly got upon his/her/its feet and then attempted to find me (the victim).  At least that's the image I quickly dismissed in my mind and then said to myself, "Nah."  It took me a matter of three whole seconds to figure out the wind picked up, blew over a nearly empty dish liquid bottle into the sink which landed on a plastic fork sending it across the room.  My heart didn't even skip a beat.  Now none of this is really profound but I realized then and there that I would have to actually see a witch, goblin, burglar etc. crawling through my window to become even slightly amused while home alone in broad daylight.  I was almost saddened by this dullness that I've grown accustomed to.  At the same time though, I realized then and there that because of that very reason I can now call myself a grown up.  So the next time you are unaffected by a strange bump in the night (or day), I hope you will use that experience as a hint, just as I did, towards knowing how utterly uneventful and un-frightning the world actually is when peering through the eyes of a grownup.